Tracking my downfall

Don't know exactly where I'll go with this. Ostensibly, this blog is about applying my understanding of Software Engineering, and the amalgam of engineering and science and philosophy in general to fix the world. In reality, this is no more than a glorified note taker.

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I recently had a crack at writing dictionary definitions in the style of the Devil's Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce:

"WAR, n. A sickness of the bald eagle caused by an irritation of the right wing."

An extended version:

"WAR, n. A sickness of the bald eagle caused by an irritation of the right wing. Symptoms include a temporary inflammation of the economy followed by tight clenching of its claws, rendering it incapable of catching even the smallest of fish, resulting in its starvation "

Also these:

"VALUES, n. A declaration that children are the most importance resource of the nation. And like that other important resource, requires preparation in a sealed chamber under extremely high pressure. At the end of that process, it is mined by drilling a hole, extracting the pure, burning the dross, and letting the waste seep into the environment"

"AMERICA, n. The shining beacon of freedom. A star flaring so bright, outshining those in its galaxy, in much the same way a supernova does."

"GOVERNMENT, n. In its modern form, a sacrificial animal in the religion of liberty. A black cat on the path to freedom, liable to spook a nation more than the leopard running towards it."

"FREEDOM, n. Finders keepers, losers weepers."

And one for the road:

"ECONOMICS, n. An agricultural science dating back the the farmers of ancient China with which it was found crops can be made to grow faster by pulling them an inch upwards everyday. The modern form has improved by allowing farmers to move to other farms to spread their technique, preferably before the crop fails."